Most guys are uncomfortable in the leadership position for the fear of screwing things up. They rather go along with her plans than creating their own. On a date, the man may not have a preference where to go, what to do, and where to eat. He simply leaves it up to her to decide and they go along with it. And if he comes up with a plan, and things didn’t go according to plan, he is less inclined to change plans on the fly in the fear of her disapproval. Moreover, she may pick a place he genuinely don’t want to visit.
That mindset is unattractive to women, although they will not admit it.
Most women want to be swept off their feet through an experience, not through a predictable plan that takes away the element of surprise. That is boring, which is the death of attraction. If you have a pre-planned destination, then bring her along somewhere you want to go. Do things you like and have her tag along. It is sexy to a woman for a man to take the leadership role. They do not want the pressure of having to decide everything for a man.
Women who are making decisions for grown men usually get frustrated and become belligerent toward him, treating him like a child.
Women are taking leadership roles through their careers. The last thing they want is leading in romance. They just want to lay back, relax, and enjoy the experience.
A Predictable Dinner Date
A dinner first date is predictable. Both parties are socially conditioned to act and behave in a certain manner. Lots of expectations. You want to bethe chivalrous provider and the pursuer, so she defaults into the role of acting lady like and hard to get.
You pick her up, open doors, pull chairs, exchange resumes on the dinner table as you munch on overly expensive food. After she acts impressed with your accomplishments, remember that there is another human sitting at the opposite side of the table so do not start asking her all these predictable “get to know her” boring interview questionnaires such as; “where are you from, how long you’ve been here, do you like it here, what do you do, etc…” Meantime, she is texting her girl friend how bored she is as she plays hostage till the dinner is over. Then, finally the check comes, with half a million dollar bill. You feel stink as you are handing your credit card, but at least you will get a kiss at the end of the night, so you take a breath of reassurance and suggest to get a drink somewhere else. But of course, all the sudden she discovers that she has to wake up early the next morning and has to go home.
It starts feeling awkward as silence takes over the conversation in the car, but it’s not over because the part where you kiss is coming up next. Wait for it. You are strategizing in your mind how to do it and she is texting her friend how to exit without making it more awkward. As you park the car and as she says good night, she rushesout of the car to avoid the kiss but you take it as a sign to follow her. So you open the door, shake her hand and as you lean in to go for the kiss, she turns her head and you end up with a peck on the cheek. Ouch! Rejected.
She tells you that was a nice time she had and that she will call you tomorrow. You mumble something back as a sinking feeling drips in your stomach as you drive away from the rest of her life. Something is not right, but you are still hopeful that she says she will call you tomorrow. A tomorrow that will never come. So you call her and it goes into voice mail.
Then, she text you with lame excuses for not taking your call. Until you either give up or she tells you to stop and another dinner date goes down the tubes.
