Neediness is the foundation of repulsion because no one likes it unless they are a control freak. Needy people feel empty inside because they have a bottom-open gap that will never get filled from an outside source. Their problems can only get rectified from within. This insecurity usually comes from a place of feeling like they are not enough. So they seek validation from women and material possessions. Needy men crave attention as a bandage to their wounded self, making them react impulsively when they don’t get it, which is dangerous for a man. Men must always stay level-headed otherwise emotions can be destructive.
Rather than being needy, make sure you give her space. In the initial stages of going out, one must always make room for a free flow of thoughts and opinions by not smothering her with too much attention and expectations. Constant validation pulls women away from being attracted to a man, so you need to be sure of yourself. Keep these things in mind to determine if you are acting needy.
If a woman doesn’t return your call and you start questioning her about it, you are acting needy.
If she flaked out from a date and you get upset, you are acting needy.
If you text often and she doesn’t reciprocate, you are acting needy.
If you purge your feelings about her too soon before she shows deep care and affection to you, then yes sir you are acting needy.
Q. How Should You Change Your Needy Mentality
A. Have the mentality that you want her, but you don’t need her. She is always free to leave, call, don’t call, give you some interest, give attention to others, what a woman does is not your business. You can assertively point out something distasteful when it first happens and express how you feel about it. But don’t be attached to the outcome.
You can say “Hey Sarah, I sure enjoy and cherish our times together, but when you do X I feel Y.
Could you please avoid that when I am around you?” Wait for an answer and don’t settle for anything besides an affirmative nod or a yes. This way you are pointing out the behavior X, not attacking her identity. “You are so selfish.” is attacking her identity. The word “you” will trigger her ego to fight back to protect itself.
If that annoying thing happens again, you could say “Hey Sarah, remember I mentioned how I feel about doing X in-front of me. I thought I made myself clear, but apparently I didn’t communicate properly. This happened again today and I am not sure what to make of it. Could you help me understand?” If she started apologizing, then forgive and forget. Say “Alright I understand. I hope this won’t happen again as I certainly do enjoy your company and I don’t want to create a gap between us.” Which indirectly says that you are willing to walk away if she does it again. If she justifies and defends then you know she is not your ideal woman.
Therefore, you have two options;
Firstly execute an exit strategy and cut your losses. If the relation is good and you enjoy her company, then you funnel her into the short term recreational category, which means you make it clear to her that the purpose of the relationship is to have fun and when it is no longer fun, then it won’t make any sense to stay together.
The second choice is much riskier as you will be walking on fire. Any wrong move and you can slip, ending up with a little human calling you Dada and an annoying mother demanding half your money. Bottom line is don’t sell out for pussy. Have the walk-away attitude at all times. You must set the pace straight right off the bat, especially in the beginning as you are getting to know her. If you do not set the pace, then she would set it for you. Now you become her doormat. After she is tired of abusing her power over you, she will leave you for a guy who won’t sell out. You are left heart broken, feeling betrayed, and taken advantage of.
Then, you blame her for being a nasty, inconsiderate, but whose fault was it really, her or yours? I will leave you pondering about that.
